And Then There Were Three by Gary Rhodes

Simpson’s Pot: Abby, Steve, Gen, Brian, Dennis, Jonathan and Gary (26th February 2006). 

As of late the trips have had a very good turn out since the new meets list. Sorry I have not written up any trip reports of late but the reason is that this confounded word thing compo machine is at the mill – the place of WORK! And by gum I’m good at avoiding that!!!!!

Seven of us met at Valley Entrance on a cool but thank the god’s dry day: My wife to be Abby, Steve, Gen, Brian, Dennis, Jonathan and me. Whilst getting changed Jonathan decided to nip up the hill as he was ready before the rest of us…some people are keen. However, it does help when you go to the right cave, the one listed at top of the page, not Swinsto.

So on up we went led at speed from behind by our Grand President. Once up we called out for Jonathan as he should have by now found the hole in the ground. Yep, call out his name and up he will pop… soon he will pop up and show us where the hole is, very soon. Hmm must be here somewhere… Next plan form a search pattern. The headless chicken search pattern was soon adopted which seemed to work the best. Still no Jonathan, its cold, must be inside where it’s warm. After a quick pee break, off on down we six plus one missing ventured. Now I must say sorry to Abby here as well…… the most delicious breakfast I had at Swindle sports was now kicking into full force factor fart level one. Probably why Brains carbide light kept on blowing out! Sorry, Ha Ha sorry be bugger.

It was around the time when we reached the pit in the floor to traverse over when we concluded that Jonathan was not amongst us nor would be for this trip. So down to six.

All is well from here with only the amusing screams echoing down the passage from the little damp puddle at the bottom of, oh I don’t know its name, Soaking Bollocks Pot. That sounds OK to me.

Then the next slight obstacle was Slit Pot. I was greeted with the task of removing some poor sods twisted abandoned rope which should now be at Bernie’s Café ready to be claimed. So, after dragging this up and getting it rapped away we were ready for our amusing turn. I’m not a big chap, but my arse always gets stuck and without Abby to give me a swift kick up it I’m usually cursing for five mins. And it’s not fair! Abby and Gen both women with women’s lovely gripsome rounded women’s bottoms can just nip through as if it were a shopping centre. Phew! Getting a sweat on now thinking of that. With us three down we were waiting for Steve. But well, Steve is of the more mature age now and things become a little stiffer more often. And I don’t mean from watching bums of the feminine nature as just mentioned.

So it was here that Brian, Dennis and Steve were abandoned. After a cold wet crawl, up and out we three emerged from the lidded exit back into the sunlight of a bright cold day. Not bad going for the White Rose. Only lost four members of the club. Need some probationary members before I lose any more people.

The End

No sorry it’s not the end. Forgot. Dennis climbed up and over the top of slit to re hang the rope for Steve. Took him ages, as he couldn’t decide which of the fifty or so hangers to use. So, after only about fifteen, twenty mins we were all back safe and sound.

The End

Has anybody seen Jonathan?