Abby, Gary, Peter & Mr Henry Go Caving by Gary Rhodes

Garry Rhodes, Abigail Rhodes, Steve Henry, Peter Benn (20 October 2007).

Abby and Gary went to meet Peter at Penny Bent Café. Abby said hello to Peter while Gary went to buy two cups of tea. He came back saying naughty words as he did not like the price of the cups of tea! Abby Peter and Gary then walked up to Sell Gill Holes with John the dog. (They love John the dog). When they got to Sell Gill Holes they met some old people that were going the way they wanted to go, silly old people (wonder if they smelt of wee?)

So Abby Gary and Peter went the other way in after saying bye bye to John the dog as he forgot his S.R.T. as always. Silly John the dog. Abby tied the rope to the pee hangers and went down, weeee, Said Abby. Gary went next,weeeee, Said Gary. Peter came down last, weeee oh dear sugar and fiddle le Dee! Abby and Gary got to the bottom first and were waiting for Peter when they heard somebody else following Peter down. It was Mr Henry. Mr Henry was happy as he said he was so and that he liked to go caving. Abby, Peter, Gary and Mr Henry went down to the sump. It was wet. Abby, Peter, Gary and Mr Henry did not like this so they went away from the sump and did not get wet. Next they went back out up the ropes that Abby had tied on the pee hangers. Gary said hello to the old people before he went out. He said he could not smell wee so the home must really look after them. Abby got out and was met by John the dog, she patted him. Gary then came up and out and went to pat John the dog. Peter and Mr Henry then came out and both patted John the dog. They all patted John the dog. John the dog liked this and was really happy as he shit himself.

Next they went to do the other way down, something called Gobble My Shaft. That’s what Abby thought Gary said it was called. Gary went first and tied the rope to the pee hangers. Abby and Peter followed. Mr Henry was last down. He was very impressed with Gary’s rope work as he said he had never come across such an admirable arrayment of varied and humorous knots! When Mr Henry got to the bottom he said Day Shar Voo and laughs. Peter said Day Shar Voo and laughs. Abby and Gary said Day Shar Voo and both laugh. They All laugh together. It was now getting late so Abby, Gary, Peter and Mr Henry went back out up the rope. When they got back out they were greeted by John the dog who was so happy to see them that he was nothing more than two eyeballs on a pile of poo. Happy John the dog (whiffy John the dog).

Abby and Gary, and Peter with Mr Henry then walked back down to the cars. John the dog followed as well. When they got back to the cars they got changed out of there mucky caving gear. Then they all went to the pub at Hellwith Bridge for a nice drink of lemonade. Mr Henry was there first having a nice pie with chips, peas and carrots. Abby Peter and Gary had a nice pint of beer to drink and John the dog had a packet of deep fried pig skin. They all sat together around the table and said what a wonderful day they had and that they should do this again sometime. John the dog just licked his bum hole.

The End, Laird Rhodes